Courage

hello to all of you - sorry for taking so long to check-in. this cycle has been my most active by far and it's also my most emotional - both very good things. i've been real fired up and frustrated that i can't do more. the doctor cleared me to start doing some light upper body exercises and being a guy who's been running around his entire life, it's hard to take baby steps. jenny has been great at keeping me focused on the task at hand and the fact that we only have 1 more chemo treatment to go. i look forward to crossing that threshold, and the radiation treatments only have fatigue as a side effect and that's a big "only". we were also informed that the tentative post chemo schedule is something like this:

• july 2nd - last chemo visit
• july 10th - last interim check-up
• july 30 - pet scan to determine what the anatomy looks like where the tumor was [ it could be a peanut sized tumor remaining or just scar tissue ]
• first week of august - dry run for treatments where i receive my freckle tattoos to mark the area to radiate
• 4 weeks after start of radiation - the radiation treatment [ or our insurance policy as my doctor calls it ] finishes up

i tell you what, i get pumped just writing that schedule. by labor day we'll be looking at all this from the rear view mirror!!!

i also wanted to take this time to wish a happy belated father's day to all you dads out there. i had the pleasure of having my dad here this cycle and it was wonderful. for all of the people who have touched my life in so many ways he's the guy who's always set the standard [ and lived up to it ], been the mentor and help make me the man i am today. he's where i get my love for the yankees, the marx brothers, technology, and marrying a woman who's way out of my league. many thanks to you dad.

1 more thing - as you all i know i've been watching alot of movies lately and i stumbled upon a pretty impressive quote from the movie "three kings" - i paraphrase:

• soldier approaches george clooney: we movin' out [to battle]
• george clooney: yeah, you scared?
• soldier: no... maybe a little
• george clooney: here's how it works, you do the thing your afraid of first, then you get the courage after you do it
• soldier: that's stupid, it should be the other way around
• george clooney: yeah, but that's the way it is

each new day is another bit of courage we're picking up - i felt like clooney was talking to me last monday afternoon. hope you have a great start to your week.

four cycles down...

Bryan had his fifth chemo treatment yesterday - only one left! We're employing the same strategy as last cycle to manage the side effects, and it seems to be working well so far. Knowing we're nearing the chemotherapy finish line is a great source of strength for us to push through the next six weeks.

This cycle has been the best yet, in terms of Bryan's energy and activity levels. Since day 10, he's been going to work every day - he feels much better now that he can be a productive member of the office again. He has enjoyed running or spinning every day -the bike has been a great asset during the hot weather. We've also been able to socialize more this cycle thanks to Bryan's renewed energy. One new hobby he's picked up during this cycle is sewing - together we made a pair of pajama pants.

Bryan did all the sewing by himself, and honestly, he did a great job. This cycle I'm going to put him to work on some dishcloths and napkins.

Bryan has had an incredible attitude the entire time, but its great to see his physical strength and energy building more and more each cycle. I can't leave out an update on cravings - since Day 3 of the last cycle Bryan hasn't gone a day without pining for the chicken burrito at Q'doba. I wonder what he'll go for this time...

sorry for the delay

hello all -

i apologize for the gap in between posts but there is a reason i haven't been typing lately - i've been out and about!!! that's right - this cycle i went back to work earlier and although i didn't feel great the first week, i've felt alot worse in past cycles. since i last wrote to you all i have done 120 crossword puzzles (i watched the documentary "wordplay" and decided crosswords were a great way to keep the noodle going) and this new pastime is thanks to cousins tyler (and his md shields clan), tracy, wally, megan, colleen, and irene - thanks a bunch for your brain teaser care packages to which cousin kelly and her fam just added to last week.

we had another positive interim check-up with the doctor and i got all fired up talking about rasing the intensity of exercise during these last 2 cycles and carrying that right on into the radiation treatment. unfortunately, as my energy level rises so does the temperature outside - so i can't stress enough how important the bike is starting to become for my mental and physical well being. i was touched to find out last week that my father's good friends had gotten together and decided that they would be the ones to buy me the bike. i want to take this time and thank a group of guys that have always been there for me - i mean john colen is the man who introduced me to architecture (he gave me a lead pointer for christmas back in 1988). we've had fun running turkey trots in sub-zero conditions, playing volleyball at ge company picnics and of course who could forget uva football on a beautiful autumn afternoon. so a special thanks to steve, john, kc, al, mike, ken, and kevin. i look forward to thanking each of you personally at a uva game this fall. the bike represents alot of things to me metaphorically but most importantly it provides an outlet for a guy who has to spend a decent amount of time with a buffer to the outside world. i can't wait to get this baby out on the open road in the fall.

speaking of that buffer, it ain't so bad - jenny has created an oasis on our balcony for me (see pic below). filled with lush plants, grass-like carpet and bistro chairs, it's the outdoors in a controlled setting. her creativity and hard work (along with jess, mimi, and colleen from my office) turned a postage stamp of exterior space into a magnificent observation deck. i am overwhelmed everyday by all that she is doing to make this an experience of growth, not 6 months of trying to hit fast forward.

so smiles all around - enjoy your weekend, i know i will.